A Lady’s Club

Where did she disappear to?

OPEN ON:


INT. PLANET METAL - LUSTER ROOM – DAY (YEAR 2313)

Pearl, Ruby, Opal and Topaz are at a meeting.

PEARL
Too much sex and violence again!

RUBY
That’s what you said last month. Why raise your voice? The bonking buddies story is hilarious.

OPAL
We need strict laws to specify what words writers can and cannot use. Phrases like ‘finger fucking’? ‘Squeezing the testicles’? That’s sub-standard trash.

TOPAZ
Electrocute them if they break the laws. Let’s see their skin turn purple.

PEARL
I drooled over the threesome bondage story, but we can’t support that. We are ladies with manners. We can forbid them to publish with us. Perhaps some new vetting processes?

RUBY
Again? They’ll go to the Gentlewomen Killers Forum, the Sexy D Group.


OPAL
Such dismal followers. We have 3.57 billion cyber members. Writers will comply. They want fans to adore their writing. I suggest that we revoke their right to publish, if they create trash.

RUBY
But then we won’t have any writers. They all write sex and violence, ‘cos that’s what readers love.

TOPAZ
Let’s dig HER up. SHE can tell us how to torture writers who corrupt her characters. Maybe acid down their throats, or boiling water.

OPAL
Not bad, Topaz. Or send them to brain realignment camps on Planet Genesis.

PEARL
Topaz, you’re a gem! That’s the most brilliant idea since the apocalypse. Professor Clock can help get HER here.

RUBY
But Clock is expensive. And why do we want HER here? Security would be a nightmare, trying to protect HER from the groupies.

OPAL
Our fundraising works like a miracle, every time! I’ll include a budget for hiring the best galactic mercenaries.

PEARL
Then it’s decided. I’ll talk to Clock. Opal, start printing the money, so to speak.

Meeting adjourns. They leave. The room turns silent, until …

FIRST VOICE
We can make trillions if we keep HER.


SECOND VOICE
What for?

FIRST VOICE
Like a zoo. You pay to see HER, take a photo or dine with HER. Ha ha! I can put my feet up and still pay for the mortgage.

SECOND VOICE
You scheming wench!

They laugh quietly and leave the room.


INT. ENGLAND – MR. KNIGHT’S HOUSE – DAY (YEAR 1800)

Mrs. Elizabeth Knight receives Lord Darling in the parlour.

ELIZABETH
My sister is… away. How may I help you, Your Lordship?

DARLING
I received a letter. I was hoping to speak with her about it.

ELIZABETH
From Jane? Have you known her for long?

Lord Darling hesitates to reveal more to Mrs. Knight who seems to be acting strangely.

DARLING
May I have her direction? I wish to send a letter to her.

ELIZABETH
She prefers that we pass on any letters.

DARLING
Of course. I understand, my friend, Miss Beckett is visiting her. Have you seen Miss Beckett?

ELIZABETH
Regrettably, I do not know Miss Beckett. Did you meet Jane here, in Bath?

DARLING
Yes, I did. I shall return when I have the letter ready.

EXT. ENGLAND - ROADSIDE OF AN INN – DAY (YEAR 1800)

Footman runs to his master, Lord Darling.

FOOTMAN
Your Lordship, the most astonishing news!

DARLING
Concerning...?

FOOTMAN
Miss Beckett.

DARLING
Carry on.

FOOTMAN
The scullery maid said that her young mistress and Miss Beckett disappeared on Sunday, while visiting Bath Abbey. The family is trying to find them.

DARLING
That cannot be true!

FOOTMAN
More strangely, their clothing was found in the crypt, burnt nearly to ashes.

DARLING
My Lord! Prepare my horse!


INT. BATH ABBEY - CRYPT – DAY (YEAR 1800)

Lord Darling paces around, eyeing the mosaic on the walls and the pattern on the ground, pondering what had happened here. Then, he notices a tiny piece of amber ribbon, soiled, caught between two bricks in a corner. Crouching down, he pulls it out.

A blast of sand and air explodes, whipping up a gust of wind, throwing him up into the air. Then he is sucked down toward a tiny hole in the ground, which opens and gobbles him up.

***
You can continue reading in Headstrong Girls
(please press the photo below to go to the book purchase page)