Elizabeth Bennet hated looking after the stall. It started when she was nine years old. The Bennet family owned a farm but it was not doing very well that year. To supplement the income, Mrs. Bennet sold fake Gucci, LV, and other designer handbags on a portable table in the market.
Sometimes Customs officers would come and raid the market. They would normally let the children go with a warning, but would arrest adults. That was why Mrs. Bennet put her there to look after the stall. Jane was spared the duty because she was too pretty to do such a chore. The other girls were too young. So it was Elizabeth who was left to look after the stall and to deal with being chased and warned by burly built officers while making sure she didn’t lose any handbags or money.
Throughout the years, Mrs. Bennet’s entrepreneurial skills grew. She was able to rebuild – or restructure – the farm. The Bennet family was now one of the largest fresh flower suppliers in Hertfordshire. They also owned other businesses, including a coffee shop, a shoe shop, and a grocery shop. The most successful of her business ventures was a chain of five adult shops. She learned from McDonald’s and made her shops into exact replicas of each other. There were strict rules for every procedure, every sale, and for her employees.
Today, Elizabeth was supposed to relax at home and prepare for her new job. Much to her mother’s consternation, she had become an industrial designer rather than a businesswoman. She had been working in a small company for two years and would start with a prestigious practice tomorrow morning. Her sister, Kitty, asked her to help out at the adult shop as she had a hot date. So, instead of relaxing at home, Elizabeth spent the evening dressed in a wicked devil costume providing customers with the answer to their carnal desires.
The costume consisted of a black vinyl jumpsuit with red lace-up front and sides, and detachable bell-bottoms on the legs. The costume also came with red devil horns and detachable tail. Her mascara was dark; her lips and nails jet black. The major problem with the outfit was that it belonged to Kitty. It was two sizes too small for Elizabeth. Her 36D breasts looked ready to burst out from the lace at anytime, and the material around her pert bottom threatened to split open every time she crouched down.
Disaster struck about five minutes before closing time when she bent down to move a display by the window. The red lace-up front finally gave way and her left nipple broke free right at the time a tall dark male came into the shop. He looked like a burly Customs Officer. Elizabeth turned the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’ and locked the shop to prevent more customers from coming in. She wasn’t going to serve with her costume in disarray.
The man’s eyes widened and he commented, “You are for sale too?”
“Not for a million dollars!” Elizabeth retorted, and tried to re-lace the front.
It was a hopeless attempt, as the eyelets were broken, and so she folded her arms in front of her chest. The action pushed her breasts upward, and failed to cover her exposed nipple, drawing the man’s eyes to focus on her ample bosom. She hated ogling man.
She reached for her jacket and then remembered the sales script. She decided to follow it, thinking the man might be a ‘mystery shopper’ employed by her mother to test her selling skills.
Discarding the jacket, Elizabeth stood with her large breasts almost on full view and, in a sexy voice, recited the sales script written by her mother for male customers that came in alone. “Want anything from me tonight, my luv?”
The man gulped and replied, “I want some … vibrators.”
Her eyes narrowed. Was he a mystery shopper or … “You can’t satisfy your woman?” she asked, unable to stop herself.
The man looked thunderous, and spat, “I can certainly satisfy a wicked devil. What types of vibrator do you have?”
She took out seven different vibrators and put them on the sales counter, describing the benefits of each in turn with her practiced sales spiel: “Amazing sensation! Pulsing contact! Lightning speed!”
The man peeled his eyes away from her breasts and took a quick glance at the vibrators. “I’ll take all of them,” he said, staring directly into her eyes before returning to her breasts.
Elizabeth’s eyes widened. The vibrators cost from £19 to £199! Why would this impotent rich man need seven vibrators for his girlfriend? She pondered on the reason, but had no intention of dissuading him. Indeed, she pushed for more and, remembering her mother’s cross-selling script, she added, “Want some lubricants to go with them, my luv?”
The man raised his eyes from her breasts and muttered in a low voice, “Yeah,” as he took out his wallet.
He seemed completely mesmerized by her as she placed four different brands of lubricant on the counter. “I’ll take all of them,” he said, repeating his words almost parrot-fashion.
Elizabeth began to think he was joking, and so tested him further. “And some condoms, my love? You can’t get your girl all excited without doing some actual work yourself.”
His face looked bright red and he simply nodded, a thick wad of notes now in his hand.
She took out a dozen different brands of condoms and continued with her mother’s sales pitch. “This one is chocolate flavour. You know, no a sane woman in the world will refuse a heavenly made chocolate stick. This one has strawberry flavour. You can dip it in champagne for her …”
The man slammed the cash down on the counter and said, “I’ll take all of them, too.” He threw the condoms in the bag that Elizabeth had packed and ran out of the shop as if a demon was chasing after him.
The next day, when Elizabeth was led into the office of her new boss, she almost suffered a heart attack – the impotent rich man who had left without waiting for his change was sat at his desk. It was Fitzwilliam Darcy, her new boss!
Darcy raised his head and recognised her immediately. He was obviously flustered, but tried hard to hide his embarrassment. “Miss Bennet,” he said, calmly, “I am surprised that you feel the need to work in the daytime, or do you have expensive habits? Don’t you earn enough at your sordid little sex shop?”
Bloody arrogant ogling man with double standards! Elizabeth tried to suppress her anger and replied, “It’s our family business, and I was just helping out.” Then she couldn’t help herself and added, “If it’s so sordid, why did you bother to come in?”
Darcy blushed. “It’s for our new project.”
“Seven vibrators, four lubricants, and twelve packs of condoms? What kind of project are we going to work on, Mr. Darcy?”
“Duress, a company you obviously know, has asked us to design a new vibrator. Mrs. Reynolds was impressed by your interview and I have studied your portfolio. You suit my requirements.”
How do I suit your requirements? she thought.
Darcy continued, “First up, can you test all of those vibrators and give me a detailed report on each of them?” He pointed to a box on the coffee table to his right.
“Not … here,” he stuttered. “Take them home and test them. Then fill out the evaluation forms. I will meet you in three days for a brainstorming session.”
She walked over to the coffee table and looked inside the box. “But there must be at least thirty vibrators there! You can’t expect me to test them all in just three days.”
“You don’t need to actually… um… insert them!” He seemed to have lost his patience as well. “Although I would prefer that you do. My other designers are all male and single; somehow I don’t think they can help ...”
“I will take ten of them. You can test the rest with your own mouth if you want to!” Elizabeth took the vibrators and left, slamming the door behind her. She didn’t care if he fired her or not, there was no way she could test all of them in three days – her muscles would be sore.
Despite the stormy beginning, Elizabeth and Darcy worked well together. She calmed down and came back in the afternoon on that first day, saying she had figured out a way to have all the vibrators tested within three days if the company was willing to pay. Darcy agreed, and she organised Lydia and her friends to do the testing.
Three months after starting the project they were ready to present the first prototype to Duress. But they still needed a name for the new vibrator and Elizabeth met with Darcy to make a final decision.
“Do we need Darcy as part of the name?” he asked, not sure if he wanted his name attached to the sex toy.
“The marketing people in Duress seem to think it’s a good idea,” Elizabeth replied. “And, of course, you are tall, dark, handsome, rich and talented. I’m sure if they put your face on the packaging, they will sell even better.”
Darcy looked at her with hungry eyes. He had desired her since they first met at the sex shop, and had enjoyed their daily contact since fate had brought her to work for him. She was intelligent and creative – and gorgeous. He felt they spoke the same language, and now she said she found him handsome too! He had discovered that she had not dated any one for over two years. Behind her teasing and saucy appearance, she was quite shy. He had wanted to take her out on a date and bed her from their first encounter, and the constant talk of the benefits of BOB – her ‘boyfriend on battery’ – was torture for him.
Should I ask her out? he thought, Dinner … tonight?
Elizabeth’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “OK, you asked me to come up with some names for this brainstorming session. I have a long list. Are you ready for them?”
“I think we shouldn’t think of our invention as a BOB or vibrator, but really as a representation of your … I mean … of a man’s strength. Our research shows that the majority of women fantasised about the manhood of someone they would like to have sex with when they used a BOB. So, when I was thinking about a name, I imagined your … uh … powerful manhood … and how it could give me … uh … I mean … a woman … pleasure. I think the name should convey either the power or the pleasure. Here is the list:
Darcy Dynamite, Darcy Pile Driver, Darcy Ram, Darcy Total, Big Bang Darcy, Darcy Thrust, Crazy Darcy, Darcy Tides, Darcy Waves, Darcy Pride, Darcy Beast, Bossy Darcy, Darcy Love Clone, Brassy Darcy, Big Tease Darcy, Darcy Joy, Cheesy Darcy.”
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